Welp, yesterday was another emotional day! The anxiety is starting to build up for my mom and she was in need of some additional support to help her cope with the upcoming surgery. I am very proud of my mom! She recognized this need for herself and took action. She walked away feeling a little better and with some tools to help her should she feel all the feels again. Today and tomorrow will NOT be easy, but she has the strength that God gave her to power through and defeat this enemy we call Arnold. She just has to be reminded of that strength from time to time.
Today, I am preparing to leave. I will be staying closer to the hospital at my grandmother’s house. I will get to spend some quality time with both my mom and grandmother before we head to the hospital.
All of what is coming next will be hard! Being away from my hubby and girls, being a rock for my mom at a time when she needs it most, anxiously waiting for updates on my mom during her surgery tomorrow, and working through the post-surgery discussion about what Arnold was and what the next steps will be as a result. I am trying to get all of the cries out now. And trust, the tears are plentiful!
It’s weird…I feel like God already spoke to me and assured me my mom will be ok, but that hasn’t put me at ease quite yet. I know everything in the Bible tells me not to worry, but I simply cannot help it. I’ve tried! #LordForgiveMe #LordHearMyPrayer
I will end this post with my prayer for today:
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day! Thank you for an opportunity to do it again and do it better! Lord, I come to you humble and afraid. I can’t fight the feelings of worry and fear. My family has been shaken by this tumor. My trust and faith in You and Your healing power has never waivered, though. I ask for your continued coverage for my family during this scary time. Lord, cover the neurosurgeon. Guide his hands during surgery tomorrow. Order his steps so that he can make the best possible decisions for my mother because it will be just him, her, and his team in there. Cover the surgical team that will support him and cover the nurses and staff that will support them. Let them be the light that my mother needs during her storm. Work through them so that she can see You and know Your presence is there. With COVID, I can only be so close and do so much. Fill in for me Lord. Let her seek You when she is in doubt and there is no one to turn to in that room. Heal her! Make her whole after this, even though something inside of her will be taken out. I know that what the enemy had prepared for evil You will turn to good. I believe…I trust…I pray! In the mighty name of Jesus!
Amen!
