Today was emotionally taxing! I am grateful for the day; it just took a lot out of me.
We are now T-4 days until my mom’s surgery. This has been extremely hard on her because no matter what happens, she is forever changed by it all. I have been trying to keep her spirits up and be her rock when she needs it, but it’s hard when I feel like I may crumble myself. My mom told me she wanted to make today her LOVE day. See, with COVID, she has not hugged her grandchildren since February. She hadn’t seen the inside of my house since February either. I have been playing it safe because I realize she and my dad are in the high risk category. I couldn’t imagine being the reason either of them were unknowingly exposed. But with everything that is happening, she needed to feel the support and love of our family. All of that could be fixed with hugs.
When my mom came over, I could see it in her eyes. She definitely needed this. The hugs were not the typical hugs. My mom clearly had a lot of hugs built up, so she had to make up for lost times and give a little extra to last through the surgery and recovery. First, Thing 1. Then, Thing 2. Then, me. Let me tell you, a mother’s hug can fix anything! My mother held me for a while tonight. I am a pretty tough nut to crack, but there was no part of me that didn’t feel all of the love my mother gave me tonight.
After the hugs, it was time to have the conversation with the girls. Thing 1 was piecing it together, but we hadn’t officially told the girls about the surgery yet. We planned to tell them at dinner tomorrow, but with today now being LOVE day, it was going to have to happen right here…right now.
Thing 1 is so much like me! She handled the news with very little emotion. It’s like she already feels the need to be “the strong one.” She and I will work on this together because it took me 37 years to realize I can’t handle it all and that it is ok to cry. Thing 2 was nonchalant for a while and then it hit her on her last hug to Nana. She felt the weight of the news and cried most of the way through the conversation. Thing 1 eventually got a short cry out. She then explained that it was ok to be scared beforehand, but everything will be ok once it’s all over. #LoveHer #GodUsesTheYoungToo
Now, we anxiously await surgery day. God has assured me He’s got this! I am going to do my best to remember that when fear and worry try to creep in. #GodsGotHer #HesGotMeToo
