Every month, I look forward to a Conscious Culture meeting with Lola Wright. She is this amazing human being that has been helping me become the best version of myself. She is helping me realize when I am operating above the line and below the line. These sessions are truly a gift and I will be sad when we have the last one in December.
Today’s meeting was about appreciation. We started off with an exercise to tell our mini-group what we appreciate about ourselves. It wasn’t an easy task for everyone. I immediately appreciated my willingness to always help others. One lady in my mini-group was extremely shy and identifying what she appreciated about herself didn’t come easy for her. It made me realize just how far I have come. There was a time when I was just like her. It took a lot of growth for me to get honest with myself about just how amazing I am. I have never been one to toot my own horn, but I have come to realize, if I don’t…who will? Sooooo…TOOT TOOT!
I also acknowledged the kind of person I am when faced with certain circumstances. The options were fight, freeze, faint, and flee. I…am a FIGHTER! #EverybodyWasKungFooFighting None of these options are good or bad, they just are. It is just what we do by nature. What we have experienced in our past often dictates how we respond. Knowing this about myself is easy…but realizing that as strongly as I am ready to fight, other people may be ready to flee, faint, or freeze, means I have to be ready to accommodate the different response. This is HARD! This will be my internal goal…recognizing and accepting how others are wired to respond and meeting them where they.
My biggest takeaway from the session was learning how I motivate others. I learned that I motivate by fear. Do this…or else! Again, I’m not wrong, I just am the way I am. The hard part here, is knowing that not everyone is receptive to that type of motivation. My eye opening moment, was admitting out loud that my mom motivated by fear, therefore, I do the same with my girls. In addition, I don’t know how to be motivated any other way. If someone motivates me another way, it’s foreign to me, and I almost don’t comprehend it. #ThisIsHUGE
I took Thing 1 to McD’s after school just to share what I learned. She and I were not BFF’s this morning because I made her change clothes. We have been going back and forth with what she chooses to wear to school. She liked her new school clothes up until she saw what others were wearing in Junior High and now does not see her new clothes as being fit for school. I, on the other hand, was not for her changing who she is for anyone. AND, she was not about to throw the clothes to the side that she LOVED at the beginning of the school year to DESPISE now that she sees what others wear. So, needless to say, most morning’s have been a fight. #Exhausting
Now, I have been motivating her by fear because I made her change. I have tried to take things away, all in the name of getting her to wear all of the clothes I worked super hard to bless her with. But it wasn’t working and it wasn’t fun to be at odds first thing in the morning…EVERY…MORNING!
As we journeyed to McD’s, I explained to her what I learned about myself. I asked her if she felt I motivated by fear and she said, “Sometimes!” I asked her how she is motivated and she said, “Rewards!” Of course! This is the same child who we paid to potty train. We went on to have a great conversation. My takeaway, meet her where she is. There may be circumstances that warrant a motivation by fear (because there are always consequences for your actions), but for our daily peace, I can choose to motivate her the way she best receives it. #WinWin
Just a side note, my session with Lola Wright ended with a round robin where we each picked a person and told them what we appreciated about them. Two people, one I don’t work with, had some very positive things to say about how they appreciate me and what I offer at these meetings. I was in awe! You never know who’s watching or the effect you are having on other people! Truly a humbling experience!
Today was a growth day for me. I came, I saw, I conquered, I learned. I ended the day a much better person than I was when the day started. It doesn’t get any better than that!
So, in case no one told you yet…I appreciate you for the unique being that you are. The way God created you is perfect because he doesn’t make mistakes. So, while you go on this journey called life, be open to being all that He has called you to be! And be open to change…because with it comes growth.
#IGrewUpToday #HowWillIGrowUpTomorrow #ICannotWaitToSee
