May 27, 2022 – Closing Another Chapter

IT’S OVER!!!!!!

A lot has happened this school year. And just when I didn’t think it could get any worse, it did. It may not have happened in my city…or my state for that matter…but it happened.

Having a child(ren) in school comes with its own share of unknowns. You start off the year with a new teacher. You pray your child likes the teacher, and you pray even harder that YOU like the teacher. Then, you worry about your child making friends, learning all the things, and keeping away from the petri dish of germs they are surrounded by daily. There is a laundry list of more stuff to worry about. The biggest worry, was just made a reality for the Uvalde community. I’d like to pause, just to create a moment of silence for all of those impacted by this terrible tragedy…

I ain’t gone lie, I thought about pulling my kids from school for the few days left in the school year. I didn’t want them to miss out on the fun activities, but I also didn’t want to risk sending my two hearts out there into this world after such an event. I let them finish, clearly. But it took all I had!

Today, I set out to celebrate the journey. It was that much more special to get to this day, and it warranted alllllllll the things…balloons, window chalk, streamers, disco lights, and loud music! We were more excited than the kids…

While Things 1 and 2 were not super thrilled by all of the fanfare, I hope they look back on this day and smile…despite the fact that Thing 1 vowed to walk home in the rain because of the loud music, and Thing 2 could not enjoy the streamers and music because she was too busy crying. #BetterLuckNextYear

Another chapter closed…

May 25, 2022 – Hollywood Party Day

The pandemic has caused a lot of celebrations to be put on hold or cancelled. I had no expectation that anything Thing 1 got to do in her 3rd grade year would happen for Thing 2. It was sad to think about, but par for the course considering where we are.

Way back when, Thing 1 had a Hollywood Party at the end of 3rd grade. The red carpet was rolled out, the kids received individual awards, and all of the parents were the paparazzi. The kids sent in baby pictures, and all of the students had to guess who was who. Sidebar…I despise this game! As a person who went to a private school where no one looked like me, this isn’t really fair…like…AT ALL. My kids, while in public school, are in the same position. #OneDay I digress. Back to the memory…I remember the teacher being so emotional because she truly loved each of her students and was sad to see them go.

By God’s grace, Thing 2 was able to have her turn. And no scaling back…she got the real deal too! She wasn’t thrilled to hear us cheering her on as they did their walk around the school, but oh well. Welcome to the part of your life where we are merely embarrassments as we strive to let you know just how loved you are on every occasion…especially the public ones!

Here are a few memories of the day… #SniffSniff

You will always be our star, kid! #ShineBright

May 17, 2022 – He’s Not Done With Me Yet

I have had A LOT going on! But if you’ve read any of my previous posts, especially the ones from last year, I am sure you have pieced that together. On top of all of that, I have been getting headaches (migraine territory), had to have a nail biopsy, and there is a spot on my mammy that requires some watching.

I know He will not give me more than I can handle, but when you are in the storm, you cannot see past the thunder. Needless to say, these last couple of weeks, I have leaned more on my sisters, prayer warriors, and Joyce Meyer. Your girl has been SICK!

For the spot on my mammy, they will look at that again in July. The migraine, they will look at that this Saturday. The nail biopsy, though…well that took place last Wednesday. When I tell you owww, I mean OWWWWWWW! The doctor said I could return to working out in a couple days, but the devil is a lie! I was in pain for several days, and had the nerve to bump my toe a few times on day 4. #SweetBabyJesus

Now, let me fill you in on the nail issue…

I had a nail that started to turn dark some years ago. When it was pretty dark, I asked my PCP about it. She said it was fungus, told me what to use on it, and that was that. Fast forward to December, 2021. The dermatologist did a full body exam and stopped at the nail…pinky toe to be exact. She broke out all kinds of magnifiers. I felt disrespected. I mean, I know I didn’t stick to the anti-fungal treatment and all, but you ain’t gotta look at it like it belongs in a museum!

She asked to take a clipping to confirm fungus. I obliged, still rather disrespected. 4 weeks later, the results were in…NOT FUNGUS. I got the call, and the nurse said the doc will want to biopsy it. She said she may take some or all of the nail. Again…the devil is a lie! I scheduled the biopsy in February, but then on the day of cancelled it. I needed a second opinion.

Two months later, I got my second opinion. I saw the dermatologist my mom sees and he is AMAZING! It is super important to have a dermatologist who has an awareness for the differences in brown skin. I explained the situation and here this man go…just like the last lady…busting out the magnifiers! He took so much time on the pinky toe and then worked his magnifier on to all of my toes. He dictated his notes out loud and one of them caught my ear, “Hutchinson’s sign.” After he completed my thorough toe inspection, the look on his face said it all. He told me he felt the same…get it checked…STAT! He said they don’t do the biopsy there, but if I could not get it done soon, he would send me to his partner. I was sick. See, what I learned, he suspected melanoma and my pinky toe and her little friends were showing signs…”Hutchinson’s signs.”

Back to last Wednesday…they took the entire nail and the pain was cuss-worthy!

Since last Wednesday, I have been in quiet agony. I have a job to do, in addition to my roles as wife, mother, daughter, and sister. I found it hard to focus on any of those things, but I was struggling through. Until today, at 455p.

The Doctor called. OH SUGAR! She asked the infamous question, “Do you have a minute?” Now, Listen Linda! I’ve been waiting on these results, sick as a dog…I got all the minutes you need! She explained that the results were benign! Wait a minute, I don’t think you heard me…BENIGN! It was like Charlie Brown after that (wah wah wah wah wah…)! I did hear her say that it was lentigo, or skin pigmentation. It isn’t something I need to worry about, but for the pinky toe siblings, I just need to keep an eye on them. They will still want to watch, but are reassured with the pinky toe’s findings.

All I could hear in my head after talking to the doctor were the lyrics to He’s Able by Deitrick Haddon:

God is able to do just what He said He would do
He’s gonna fulfill every promise to you
Don’t give up on God, cause He won’t give up on you
He’s able
He’s able

So, I will rejoice in this victory! Tomorrow can bring it! Because if there is ANYTHING I learned from all of the stress and worry of this situation, it’s that there will be another situation. I am going to do my best to listen to His instructions and not worry, but instead, cast those burdens onto Him. That has always been so hard for me to do. BUT, with what feels like a new lease on life, I must…

‘Cuz He’s not done with me yet!

Let the church say, Amen! #AMEN

April 7, 2022 – Cloudy Day

Today was another one of those days where it just takes a song to get you in the spirit. On my way home from dropping off Thing 1, the song Cloudy Day by Tones and I came on. I love the song, but never really paid attention to the lyrics…until today.

But your momma always said, “Look up into the sky
Find the sun on a cloudy day”

The days here have been mighty cloudy…literally. If it wasn’t raining, it was still dark and dreary. I am a pull back the curtains kind of girl. So, I welcome that sunshine each morning. It helps put me in the mood to start the day, and reminds me that something as little as sunshine can spark joy. With the sun on strike, it was hard to get into my groove.

That all changed with this song. It wasn’t the brightest day, but I managed to find the sunshine all the same. I realized that all the other days I was not looking hard enough. And that is what we humans do…we look for the black or white…the absolute. In doing that, we miss our sunshine.

So, going forward, this child of God is going to Find the sun on a cloudy day. I don’t want to spend another day missing out.

There’s one more part of the song I want to highlight too…

Am I living?
Oh, what a funny thing to say
But there’s alive, and then there’s living
Am I living for today? Hmm

This is deep! I’m alive, but I certainly haven’t been living…not in the ways that matter the most. I have spent a lot of time scared to live. COVID has made me scared…to…live! It won’t happen overnight, but I will slowly begin to take back my life. Now…I am not dropping my mask! Let’s not get carried away! But I will be tapping my toes in the water and doing the things I used to do, and the things that brought me joy. I NEED this! Kawandra 2.0 has not reached her full potential being indoors for 2 years, and the kids have missed out on marking more states off of their list. They need to get back to their joys too. Let’s not forget the hubby…him could use a less paranoid wife…and a date night! #RuthsChrisAnyone?

So I will take it one cloudy day at a time, but I will get us there!

Funny…all it took was a Cloudy Day! #TimeToFindMySunshine #TimeToLive

March 1, 2022 – It’s Tuesday!

Life happens and we all get so lost in it. Every day we check items off our never-ending list of To Dos, then rinse and repeat the next day. Kids make it so that we don’t get lost for too long.

Thing 2 is always in search of a snack. It is why her nickname is Snacks! If ever you are in search of her, check the kitchen or pantry. In true Thing 2 fashion, she opened the fridge to see what was going to be for dinner. Mind you, she bypassed me and could have simply asked, but opening the fridge is second nature to her.

While in the fridge, Thing 2 says, “Taco meat? Of course it’s taco meat! It’s Tuesday!”

Now, this may not be much for you, but for me, Thing 2 just gave me life…AGAIN! It was more in her tone. She said it in the silly way only Thing 2 can. And to hear her have the conversation with herself was even more hilarious.

Asked and answered, Thing 2! Now, go get your fixins for a quesadilla since you won’t touch ground beef with a ten foot pole!

February 14, 2022 – Love Day!

I took a few days off to decompress, recharge, heal, and rest. I refilled my cup!

I must say, Mission Accomplished! I don’t do this often enough, mainly because I see all of the things that need to get done. So, I chase those things until they’re done, only to have more new things take their place. I have come to realize, and truly understand, there will ALWAYS be SOMEthing. If I continue to wait for the perfect time, it’ll never get here. I am glad I forced myself to take a beat.

Today was my last day off. What a lovely way to end some time off, but with more cup filling.

We don’t go all out on Valentine’s Day. We have some traditions, and we make sure the girls also feel special. Our tradition is typically a heart-shaped deep dish pizza from Giordano’s (regular pizza for the girls), and a heart-shaped chocolate cake from Portillo’s. Thing 1 is the sweets person, so she and I work on the cake. Thing 2 really has select sweets she likes, so she will usually get M&Ms or another one of her favs. In talking about some old ways we spent Love Day, we reminisced on the picture of Thing 1 with a heart-shaped cookie from Mrs. Fields. I remember that day so well. We captured a cute picture of her as she had her first Mrs. Fields experience…

I know, right?

Thing 1 had that “woo chile” look as she savored the icing! After the reminiscing, the hubby decided to bring back an old tradition, plus some…

The second bottle is in the fridge!
YASSSS!
No heart / love is perfect, but dog on it, Giordano’s!

We had a great day! Not just because of the food and gifts, but because it was spent with my loves.

And don’t think this was one sided. I bought the hubby a cute Star Wars card, that I learned last night was actually a Father’s Day card. Guess I need to read more. #OrMaybeIAmPlanningAhead I got the hubby a couple more Star Wars themed gifts, and one that was a little more sentimental…

The gifts aren’t mandatory. I mean, we should show each other we love each other on a daily. But it is nice to hold a special day where there is an opportunity to love even more.

What can I say? #MyCupRunnethOver

January 25, 2022 – What in the name of all things sud-bubble?

Ok, Thing 2! You are doing the most!

Thing 2 decided she wanted to make a soap spray because she liked the smell of the soap that much. It was her sister’s soap, though. During her time being sick, I gave Thing 1 some Bath & Body Works Stress Relief soap. It has eucalyptus and spearmint in it. It clears you out like no other. Thing 2 got a hold of it in the shower and that was all she wrote!

Soooooooo, she put water and soap in her tiny, pink spray bottle and started spraying it in the air. I had to immediately stop her, and redirect her to the appropriate places to spray her concoction (like, the shower). Soap droplets on the floor are not ok, and just thinking about the cleanup gave me pause. Not to mention, holy smokes, Batman…the smell was no longer pleasant.

I thought I redirected her to the appropriate places to spray, but it fell on deaf ears. I went upstairs to get her for our daily workout and low and behold, she was standing on her bathroom counter spraying her mirror…

Not only did it look bad (the picture above does not show the real deal), but it smelled HORRIBLE! It took me back to high school where the boys would spray a half a bottle of cologne and think that was cute!

I gagged a little, got Thing 2 off the counter, and explained to her why this was not a good idea. Her response, “but, but, I just wanted to clean the mirror.” I applaud and appreciate your thoughtfulness, but baby, this ain’t the way. I have a whole, homemade spray bottle dedicated to this initiative.

Needless to say, we were delayed a bit for our workout. It took me a series of wiping with a wet cloth, rinsing all of the soap out of the wet cloth, and doing it over and over again…over the same spot…multiple times. See, soap on a mirror does not wash off in one wipe. And Thing 2 was heavy with the spray! I worked out my arms TWICE! #GunsOfSteel

My mom and sister got a good belly-laugh out of this story when we finally joined the virtual workout. They know the curiosity that is Thing 2, and they are here for it! Guess I am too. She really does keep me on my toes and opens my mind to the unknown!

#UntilTheNextThing2Chronicle

January 22, 2022 – Pre-Teen Makeover

We knew it was coming! We wanted to tuck it away for a little while longer, but Thing 1 was not going to let that happen! Our little-big girl continues to grow up and come into the human she is meant to be. It is both scary and rewarding to watch. She has her own mind, opinions, and style. We debate on said style because it can only change as often as it does when she is the one footing the bill. I pray she comprehends that soon because I miss us getting along more often. #SheNeedsAJOB

Our first born was our pink girl. It was a switch for me because I was never that, but I was excited to be a girly girl right along with her. When we moved into our forever home, we painted her walls…PINK. And this pink was an adjust your eyes when you walk in pink. For the last 7 years, it worked. But now, Thing 1 moved on. Sidebar, the previous post about Thing 2 planting a family of butt cheeks on the pink wall helped move this process along a bit. Who wants to stare at someone’s greasy *ss cheeks every day? #NotMe

Thing 1 asked for a room makeover for Christmas. We were on track to make that happen for her, but she got sick, and our focus shifted on her getting better…of course. On New Year’s Day, though, I set out to Get ‘er done! My first and only objective was to paint the room. Painting is labor intensive, and after it’s on the wall, it inspires the design to follow. So, I painted…

Wall of Choices
Ohhhhkaaaaaay!

It took a few days and one more trip to the Depot for paint, but I got it done!

Going into the makeover, Thing 1 always said she wanted the bed wall to be her accent wall. She wasn’t sure of the additional ““““““““““““““““““““““““““““colors before having the paint on the walls, but once up, she made her color selections and told me her vision. She likes to take a whooooooole lot more credit for helping with the accent wall, but I will at least point out that this is where she was inspired to help…even if it was only to paint a few areas. #IWentInExpectingNoHelp #GuessSheExceededThatExpectation #TheNextPaintJobIsOnHerThough

The accent wall is BEAUTIFUL! I will not share those pictures until the final reveal! #HA

After the accent wall was complete, we moved on to the finishing touches. This required some online shopping, store pick-ups, waiting on deliveries, washing said deliveries, and repurposing some existing house items…but I got it done! As much as Thing 1 gives me the business, she is an exceptional young lady. She works hard so that she can play hard. She is persistent in her passions, and is unwavering in her strong opinions. In a world where there are a sea of followers, it is Thing 1 who is in the pond of leaders. To say she is deserving of my blood, sweat, and tears is an understatement. I think I scored a few brownie points with this room…and for my pre-teen…I’LL TAKE IT!

Here it is (a little artwork pending)…

She LOVES it! My work here is done!

January 19, 2022 – Results Day

Today took FOREVER…even though the appointment was in the morning, the uneasy feeling made it seem like a lifetime!

The appointment was virtual. My mom and I handled as we do most virtual appointments…she calls me from the house phone and has me on speakerphone as I listen in.

We waited another eternity for the Doctor to pop in. It was like 15 minutes, but still…be on time on results day please!

He started talking about what he was testing for and where was done. In my head…dude…get to the important part. He finally says what we had been believing in God for…the pathology came back benign. #Hallelujah They did see, however, what he’s assessing is sarcoidosis. This is an inflammatory disorder that can affect other organs outside of the lungs. It’s something he will monitor with periodic testing. The good news (yep, more good news), she wasn’t symptomatic. Sometimes things are found because they have a reason to look (e.g. symptoms) and sometimes they happen to find it when routinely checking on something else. We know the latter all too well because Arnold was found due to a CT of the head to rule out a stroke.

So, while there is a new discovery with the sarcoidosis diagnosis, I’m overjoyed that my mom does not have lung cancer. Another cancer diagnosis would have rattled the very case that’s just being out back together again. #IBetterStopWorrying #GodKeepsShowingMeHesHere #NotGettingMoreThanImBuiltFor #ThankYouJesus

My mom and I took the win! Now, time to celebrate…safely!

January 16, 2022 – Chicken Tender Chronicles

It has been quite some time since Thing 2 has up to her old ways. Apparently, I was getting too comfortable in not having to report her shenanigans. That all changed today.

After I reduced the number of plates I had spinning, I told the family I needed just 4 hours from them to clean the house. They obliged, I mean, what choice did they have? #None

The girls are responsible for their crap bins…or junk bins, since Thing 2 thinks crap is a bad word. I guess she’s kind of right. They sit on the stairs and the idea is, you’ll take your crap up when you notice something in the bin. That doesn’t happen. As I type, the hubby’s bin is overflowing. #ThatsForAnotherDay

As Thing 1 cleans her bin, she alerts me to what she found…IN HER BIN!

Is that a…?

But whhhhhyyyyy? I have a pretty good theory on how this happened. Thing 2 is ALWAYS eating. Her and her sister were upstairs playing, she got hungry, came down for a snack, knows there is no eating upstairs, and brought her chicken tender to the bin to return to it later. I KNOW that’s what happened! When questioned, though, do you know that child had NO CLUE what happened OR that she even did it! #IHaveNoWords

So, I then had to channel my inner mom…”What, it just walked in the bin?” #ThisKid Sidebar, I see you boo. You stuck the nugget in your sister’s bin…not yours! #SheThinksShesSlick

I tried to save face, but the hubby’s first reaction was to just start laughing because of the random nature of this event. I tried to hold my face, but it did warrant a good laugh. This kid does the most and doesn’t even remember. That’s a dog on shame.

At least y’all know I feed her…