Month: January 2021

Pastor Furnick preached another good one today! Consider me full…spiritually! #IStillRequireBreakfast

Pastor Furnick spoke into my strong-willed kid today. You guessed it…Thing 2! His sermon was about Jesus being the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He preached that what we need in between in our lives are Beta blessings: “Jesus is the Alpha and Omega, but I need a Beta blessing to get me through everything in between.” #PraiseGod He also said that we are in beta versions of ourselves. Every day, we are making revisions so that we can be what He has called us to be. #WorkInProgress

Pastor then went on to ask, How many of y’all have a strong-willed child right now? Some will call it stubborn. I couldn’t get my hand up fast enough. #MeMeMEEEEEE #IDoIDoIDo I have been writing about this child’s shenanigans, so you know I have me one of them! But what I didn’t consider, is that my child is in her beta version too. #WeAreAllWorksInProgress

What Pastor said next about my strong-willed and stubborn child spoke to my soul. He said, that strong-willed, stubbornness will pretty soon grow to be BOLDNESS! Right now, she is just in beta! #SpeakIt

While I knew there was no mistake in the way God created Thing 2, I did often wonder how I was to parent this beta version of her. Every day, there is a new strain of strong-willed and stubbornness that the punishments of yesterday just don’t work for. That is where I had to realize that this is where my beta self grows. This is where I grow just a little more each day to match her growth. She and I will grow together so that I can be the best beta version of myself that will help her turn that stubbornness into boldness. #IGetItNow

None of this means it will be easy, but Pastor gave one last little nugget to set me on the right path. He closed with, “pray to be blessed, but obey to be blessed.” I have prayed all kinds of prayers over Thing 2 (oooooooohweeeeee), but have I truly done what He said I should do? Was I even listening when He told me? Or was I so caught up in the moment or what she did that I didn’t even notice He was trying to guide me? #Pray&Obey #GotIt

I’ve got work to do!

Ok. So, I keep telling y’all that it is something new every day with this second born. Last night, I noticed there was vaseline…yes…VASELINE…on her monitor. I leave a small tub on her desk because her lips get so dry they crack. Why she felt the monitor had chapped lips too is beyond me.

Fast forward to today. I was getting her set up to begin another day of e-learning and I saw this substance on her keyboard…

I already knew what it was. There was no time to ask any questions. I just started wiping it away when I realized that was not the best idea. This removal will require surgery and precision. I see some q-tips and napkins in my future.

I was beyond ticked off! This keyboard has seen its share of trauma since e-learning started. If it could talk, it would probably be cussin’ through globs of vaseline.

I have to step away! Me and the Portillo’s chocolate cake from last night are about to get busy so that I can drown my sorrows and forget about the miracle surgery I am to perform on the keyboard later.

#ThisKid #IHaveNoMoreWords

So, my mom had her biopsy a couple of days ago. She was nervous, but went through it like a champ. She said she didn’t really feel the needle and the process was not painful. This was music to my ears because my mom has been warrioring through some stuff in the last months.

At about 11a I got a text from my mom that said the office called her and for me to call her on my lunch. Uhhhhhhh…calling NOW! #IKnowMyMother #ThereAreMoreThanResultsToReport The biggest thing, the biopsy was…BENIGN! Praise God! Then, she kept talking! #HereItGoes The mass is benign now, but it is best to remove it via surgery to keep it from changing. #Great #SugarHoney

I couldn’t even feel anything! At this point, what is there to feel??? I have been functioning in auto-pilot since her surgery. Every time I tried to switch gears, a shoe dropped. And I guess I should be a bit more positive. I do realize that God is working on my family. We are in the middle of a stormy season and through it all, He is our only navigator and pilot. But man, oh, man…can I breathe for just a second? #StillGrateful #StillPositive #AlwaysBlessed

The thought from the nurse is that surgery should happen prior to her starting chemotherapy and radiation. This may get a little tricky because C&R shouldn’t be delayed for much longer. We have to make sure Arnold doesn’t return.

Next week, the official C&R treatment plan and start dates will be ironed out. We will also meet with the boob surgeon to discuss how soon this surgery can happen and the recovery time behind it. There isn’t any time to waste here.

So, I have come to terms with where I am in this season. I…am in a car…mom is the front passenger…chemo, radiation, and boob surgery are in the back seat. If I am being proactive, I realize there is still a trunk and glove compartment in this car. I just pray I don’t have to fill them!

#HeGotMe #MaybeThatsThePoint #WaitMaybeIAmNOTTheDriver #DUH #DriveAWayLord

Today, I overheard the second grade class discussing Martin Luther King, Jr. Fitting, since today is his actual birthday. In the midst of the “how he died” discussion, I hear a child ask the teacher, “did he get shot by the police?”

My…

Heart…

ACHES!

We still live in a world where racism exists. Never mind the fact that there are way more multi-cultural families now than there were in the 60s and 70s. You’d think we would have grown as a people and would be showing our young generation so much better…but here we are! A second grader…wondering if what happens so often in this country happened to MLK. #ImHurt

Dear World,
Our kids are watching! They are drawing conclusions based on what they see us adults do. Please remember that as you navigate life. A life full of people of all ancestral backgrounds. People who all bleed the same. Let’s do better so our kids can be better! #WeHaveALotOfWorkToDo

I pray we get it together! We have got to be the change we want to see! I can vow to do my part. I pray you all do yours!

Today finally happened! We met with our second opinion, a Neuro-Oncologist from Northwestern Medicine. He was very nice, thorough, and easy to talk to. He put my mom’s tumor right at a 2.5…so, I guess I cannot say he was decisive. We knew going in the tumor was either a grade 2 or a grade 3…he just split the difference. #ThisIsWhatWeWaitedFor #LetMeStop

The doctor was very positive. He took the time to get to know my mom, her life before, during, and after surgery. He, above all, gave us all HOPE! #ImHereForIt He spoke to her life 20 years from now. God was working overtime through this man on today! My mom laughed and cried…tears of joy this time, though! #JoyComesInTheMorning

Mom’s tentative treatment plan, since the tumor is a grade 2.5: targeted radiation and chemo pills. This will be for 6 weeks with chemo possibly lasting a couple more week after radiation ends. Radiation will be a daily, 10-15 minute cycle. We understand there may be unfavorable side-effects, but we serve a God whose plan supersedes what any doctor can say may or may not happen. So, we will sign up for that treatment plan at the same time! #StayingPrayedUp #StayAwayArnold

As for the lump I mentioned last week, my mom had a repeat mammogram and ultrasound. The lump is small (4mm). The doctor thinks this is a benign nodule, but he wants to biopsy it to be sure. That will happen next week. At this point, I could break down again, but I really don’t feel to. Whatever this is can just get in the car with us, ‘cuz we are already on one wild ride, but MY GOD is the driver! #NotTodaySatan #CoveredByHisGraceMercyAndLove

No matter what…#HeGotThis #SoWeGotThis

Sooooo, yesterday wasn’t enough. Today, Thing 2 got caught up in some toilet paper shenanigans. I think this kid is trying to cost me money and dark colored hair…I am convinced!

I have to watch Thing 2 get ready in the morning. I have to watch her get out of bed, for that matter. She will claim awake only to pull the covers back over her head and go back to sleep when I walk away. This morning, she was up and brushing her teeth…on the bathroom floor in a corner by the tub, but I’ll take it! I happened to glance at her newly cleaned sink (compliments of ME yesterday) and I noticed something white under the drain. I asked, “What did you put in your sink?” Y’all know what she said, so I am not even going to type it. My next question, “Is that tissue???” Her response, ‘cuz I got one this time, “Maybe!” Thing 2 History Lesson: “Maybe” ALWAYS means YES!

I asked the infamous Why question and got that same answer. Again, y’all know. I broke out some dull kid scissors (the tweezers I needed were MIA) and went fishing. I had to detach the drain under the sink so that it would come up just enough for me to pull pieces of toilet paper out a little at a time. It’s wet wet now, so this was like playing the game Operation. Once I got it all out, I saw something else that looked like a small ball in there. #Jesus #Jesus #HELPME I imagined this was an orbee. I wasn’t sure and getting it out would require a bit more energy that I didn’t have. Soooooooo, it’ll stay for now. Water seems to run just fine around it. #FutureKawandraProblem

Thing 2 got a lesson in what can go down the drain and what cannot and WHY! So, the next time I ask this kid she better have an answer for me! And if there is a next time…#S$%&!

I should have known today would happen. I did ask “What’s next kid?” in my last post. I brought this on myself. I know better than to ask dumb questions. I won’t do it again. Lord, I hear you!

#NothingIsNextKid!

There we were…the second day back at school. I didn’t expect the Thing 2 Chronicles to continue, but then I discover this during our morning wake-up routine…

First of all, I was looking for the bag of rubber bands a while ago. Thing 2 claimed she didn’t have them. I guess that was true, for the most part. The vents had them. Again, Thing 2 was asked why. Her response…YEP…”I don’t know.” I’m wearing pretty thin on this I Don’t Know business. At least tell me you were bored and thought it would be fun to stick sh*t down the registers. I can see how this would look like fun to a person under 5 feet.

Welp, guess I better check every other register in the house. I did lose an earring and a couple hair clips. Didn’t think checking the vents were a thing, but in this house…IT IS!

#WhatsNextKid

Ok, so these photos aren’t the half of it. I cleaned up the bed prior to this post. This child decided to take a pink PERMANENT marker to bed. In addition, she decided to color a piece of paper with it on her footboard and was … wait for it … SHOCKED that the permanent marker would bleed through the paper and make it to the foot of her white footboard! #DidSheReally #NeverMind #TheAnswerIsYes Did I mention her light purple sheets?

This kid KNOWS BETTER! We have this conversation often about coloring in the bed. I can get out the occasional crayon or colored pencil stain, but this here pink number is here to stay! Luckily, the rubbing alcohol trick worked for the foot of her bed…mostly. It also worked on her little fingers…mostly. It is going to take several more washings for the rest to come out.

Wanna know what the kid said when I asked her why? Oh…you’re so smart!!! “I don’t know!” Let me tell you, this kid is super smart. She catches on very fast and when she is waiting on others to do the same she is bored out of her mind! So, when we have crossed this bridge of markers in bed before today, how come she didn’t remember it was a no no? You guessed it…it is out of pure convenience. See, I am on to these Thing 2’s. Thing 2’s are fearless! They are smart, quick, creative, eclectic, skillful, artistic, and hilarious. They will charm your socks off!! I mean…all the way off! Just when they are in with you good, they strike! Then, claim ignorance! “No! I had paper there. And when I was coloring the paper the marker got on the bed thingy. I didn’t know it was going to do that!” If y’all could see the look of surprise on this kid’s face as she was telling me this. I LMAO inside. D*mn it! There goes that charm!

Needless to say, this kid is pretty bummed still about her sh*tty day! She kept asking to game yesterday and I kept having to remind her why she couldn’t. She had to re-live her little mishap and almost get re-grounded as I explained to her over and over that she has until next week before she can game…that’s what consequences are! So, I spared this kid from any additional punishment here with one caveat…do this mess again and you will get 3 hots and a cot…THAT’S IT! The fun bus will leave the station and may come back for your February birthday! I pray she got the hint. Thing 2’s are also super hard on themselves when they do things they know are wrong, but the impulsiveness in them just wouldn’t let them not do it. I know this about her and so I have to be careful to not harp on every bad decision because we all make them.

So, let me get my day started! Something tells me it’s going to be a pinkalicious day!

Today was another rollercoaster day! I was studying for another exam, my Microsoft Azure Fundamentals Certification. I feel like the more I study the less I retain. I know it is because my mind is occupied with so many other things it doesn’t want anything else…but I just keep cramming stuff up there. #OneDayIWillLearn

My mom got some not so good news too. She must have been going through her mail and found a letter that was sent on behalf of her neurosurgeon. It was an old letter requesting her tumor samples be sent to yet another lab for further testing. In the letter, though, it said the testing was to try and find markers that “drive the behavior of your cancer.” Up until this day, I feel like doctors and nurses have danced around this topic. For me, I thought because they were on the fence about grade that it being cancer was still up in the air. This letter seems pretty clear, though. BUT…my God is still in the healing business, so I am not going to claim that. Still, my mom was rattled…yet again. If that wasn’t enough, she discovered a lump on her breast. #WTF She was at the doctor’s office when she texted me her pressure had spiked. Rightfully so…all of this is pretty scary and taxing.

As of now, her pressure is better and her primary doesn’t think the lump is a cause for concern. That response didn’t sit well with my spirit so I told my mom to call her OB to get further confirmation. After everything up to this point, y’all better quit playing with me! #SpiritLed #DoesntMatterWhatYouSaidIListenToHim

Sidebar, I have to thank my sister for reminding me just how able HE is! Ever since my mom’s diagnosis I have been on a journey of unknowns. My emotions reach highs, then something happens and they reach massive lows. The only constant through this journey has been God’s strength, grace, and mercy. As my sister said, “let it play over and over in your head how far God has brought y’all. We know what He can do.” #Amen #SheIsSoRight #SistersInFamilyAndInFaith We’ve got this!

Now…shifting gears…

Y’all know I cannot make stuff up, right? My life is my life. Every challenge, hardship, victory, and triumph…it’s mine! So are the noteworthy moments with Things 1 and 2. Tell me…why do these kids test me when I am clearly having a sh*tty day??? #RhetoricalQuestion

Thing 2 is my focused and passionate kid. She could not be bothered to potty train because play-mode was wayyyy more important. To this day, that still rings true. The girls have been hard-core gaming since being on break. As break is coming to a close, they were getting their last day of gaming in. Thing 2 was playing soooooo hard…she didn’t want to leave her desk to go potty. The funny thing is, y’all think you know where this story is going…wait for it…wait for it! My child held it…until she couldn’t.

Now, I am sure y’all are thinking this is pee we are talking about. #Nope! In order for me to have had a sh*tty day, sh*t must be involved, right? #Riiiiiiight I saw some stuff in the garbage can and on the wall that looked mad suspect (sus if you’re a tween these days). This kid had the audacity to tell me, “I got a little in my panties.” Uhhhhhh…translate please, ‘cuz what I see in the trash can ain’t in your drawz!!!! Apparently, this kid was at her desk gaming and holding it when she realized her butt muscles had failed her just enough to gross her momma out. She proceeded to clean herself up while still in the room and just throw her sh*t away. As I type this all I can hear is Fabolous saying, “just throw it in the bag!” #CleanUpOnAisleFive #JesusTakeTheWheel #TakeMyDinnerTooCuzItsComingBackUp

I won’t gross you out anymore. Fact is, I have OCD and am a germaphobe. I don’t do bodily functions. If you want to see me flatline, produce a bodily function and I AM OUT! Thing 2 has been stomping on my OCD and germaphobia since she was born. I guess she is trying to heal me of it. This must be what I get for thinking the earlier part of my day was sh*tty! #Perspective #ShesStillGrounded #HoldItAgain #IDareYa #WaitSheJustMight #ITakeItBack

Tomorrow, I claim a not-so-sh*tty day…please…for the sake of my gag reflexes! #PleaseAndThankYou